operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
