so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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