I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
