Is it normal to miss your booty call?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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