I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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