hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
