I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
