You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
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