I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
