my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
