You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
