I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
