It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
