Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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