Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize