I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
