Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
