I smell stomach acid.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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