Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
