3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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