new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
