then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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