I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Sober January is a disaster.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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