How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
