im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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