easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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