My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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