if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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