Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
