the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
