My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
