you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
