You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize