i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
