i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
