When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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