Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i came on her dog
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize