you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
