ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
