hell yes lets make some ravioli
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We have so much sex to catch up on
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
