I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I am available for nakedness
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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