You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
