Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize