Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
