I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize