Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
