she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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