Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
