Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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