Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
