the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
