I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
420 ftw
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
