i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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