Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
