I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
