there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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