I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
how drunk are you?
Several
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
