yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
