No stitches, just platelets and will power
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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