i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
