When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Congratulations! We have a period
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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