im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize
