i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
