its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
