Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We left the knife in your bed.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize