You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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