we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
ttyl tear gas
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
