so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
