I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
