That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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