Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
