I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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