I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
