Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
